Office English Dictionary

Blamestorming: Sitting around
in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was
responsible.

Chainsaw Consultant: An
outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with
clean hands.

Cube Farm: An office filled
with cubicles.

Prairie Dogging: When someone
yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls
to see what's going on.

Ego Surfing: Scanning the
Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one's own name.

Idea Hamsters: People who
always seem to have their idea generators running.

Keyboard Plaque: The
disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.

Mouse Potato: The online,
wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Ohnosecond: That minuscule
fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake.

Perot: To quit unexpectedly,
as in "My cellular phone just perot'ed."

SITCOMs: What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
Stands for Single Income,Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Squirt the Bird: To transmit
a signal to a satellite.

Starter Marriage: A
short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy: A person who
seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out: An ATM or credit
card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive
use.

Tourists: People who take
training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious
students in the class; the rest were just tourists."

Treeware: Hacker slang for
documentation or other printed material.

Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for
swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.