Stupid people should have to wear signs
that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You
wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't
see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved.
Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes
over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing
with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer
of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?"
"Nope — talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows
on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only
one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They
want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite
you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my
truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at
my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.
Said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me.
Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a
year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We
get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe,
then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have
stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my
days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got
stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic
questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he
asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked
back at the rig and then back to him and said "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's
your sign."